The Job Hunting Blues

So over the weekend I watched the movie: The Pursuit of Happyness – the one with Will Smith and his kid.

And was I depressed! Man, it brought back bad memories. It had a happy ending, but getting there was murder.

Here’s why:

Will Smith (in his character) is a naturally intelligent guy. But he’s down on his luck. He’s got a business selling bone density machines (door to door / doctor to doctor) that are overrated and over-priced. It’s painful to watch him out there facing rejection after rejection. Debt is mounting. His wife is working 2 shifts. He’s doubting himself. And so is she. It’s one obstacle after another – as one is hurdled, another one appears.

So here’s why it was so painful. There was a time in my life when I felt the same. Yeah, the movie was too close to home. There was a time when I was so desperately unhappy in my job, my performance was suffering, my boss was causing me stress (despite me being the top performer for the year), and I was breaking out in all sorts of stress related conditions. So much so that to get out I took what turned out to be a bad decision.

I quit and took a job selling insurance. Seriously. During a month’s initial training (without pay) I came top of the class of around 15 people. But after around 9 months of paying my boss to work there I was almost out of savings. Now that’s a period I don’t want to repeat in a hurry. It was a long time ago but that movie brought it all back.

But it’s good too. Now I know what it feels like to be unemployed, rejected. The world feels like it’s closing in. Everyone else seems so successful – so happy – but nothing’s going right with you. And it seems it never will.

And here’s a shocking admission: I now understand why some people just decide that life isn’t worth living. And they end it all. I never got to that point – but I got an insight that made me realise how some people may easily fall off the edge under these circumstances.

Will Smith’s character in the true story obviously wins in the end. As in the movie however, in real life most often there is no miracle. Miracles do happen, but it’s not a great strategy to rely on them.

What happened with me was that one day I phoned my old boss and asked for my job back. Which I got at a much better salary that before. It wasn’t easy, in fact within a year I was ready to quit again. But I stuck it out and this time I made a planned exit and started my own business (that’s another story).

So what advice if you’re feeling desperate right now?

Things will work out. No-one knows how. But they will. Don’t make any hasty decisions (but if you do … throw all your energy into making it work). Try to keep a part of you unconsumed by the feelings of sometimes terror, nausea, fear, self doubt, and hopelessness – by staying fit, by going for walks, being productive on the home front, looking at flowers, playing with your kids, etc.

Things will work out. Work hard to make them work out. Be smart. Try new things. Try doing old things in new ways. But in the end you have to trust that they will.